Hey, my name is Seb, and I'm currently pre-t. I'm in a relationship someone who is concerned about potential aggression levels that the t could cause. What can I do to alleviate her fears?
Hey Seb, I was very concerned about the potential agression levels/mood changes when I began T as well - because I have pre-existing diagnosed mental health disorders. However, I experienced absolutely no mood changes, and absolutely no aggression issues.
So, it really does depend on the person. Some people experience the more mental health/mood side-effects, while some don’t experience them at all all (for example, in my case).
You can also reassure your partner that once/if you begin to experience these negative side-effects you will get in contact with your Dr. immediately, and go in for bloodwork. Sometimes the aggression or mood side-effects can come from the your T dosage being too high, and that is something they can change by checking your T levels with bloodwork.
If it becomes an issue for you, you can 100% reassure your partner that there is absolutely something you, your partner, and your doctor can address together and do what needs to be done to fix it. Also, if you are comfortable with it - you could always bring your partner with you when you go to your pre-T/starting T appointments to discuss the side-effects and they can ask any questions they may have about their fears directly with a medical professional.
Hey man congrats on your 4 year mark. I'm just curious as do you still see some changes happen to this day? Or have they slowed down by now? Physical or mental
Hey, thanks! They have mostly slowed down by now, I talk a bit about some of the physical things that I still notice every once and a while in my video I’m uploading - like veins becoming more prominent, and hair growth (face and body) is still developing in new places. But for the most part nothing major.
I'm on vacation and I know I should be happy to have the privilege to go somewhere really awesome and see new places (and I am) but I can't help but feel extremely home sick. More than I ever have in my life. To the point of crying because of it. I miss my home, my routine, and especially my girlfriend. I message her everyday but I just want her in my arms. I'm on vacation for 11 more days, I'm in a different country w/ my family. How do I stay sane and stop crying for the rest of the trip????
I’m so sorry to hear that you are struggling through your vacation. It is totally understandable, I have been in the same boat - it can be very difficult to enjoy things, even beautiful vacations, when you are struggling with things that are out of your control.
I would just recommend taking one moment at a time, try to enjoy just one moment at a time. Don’t focus on how much longer you are going to be there, or counting down the days to when you get to go home. Just try (as hard as I know it can be) to find beauty in little moments, in little things, and that should help you move on to maybe enjoy your trip a bit more and maybe it goes from enjoying something for a moment, to enjoying something for an hour, or a few hours, or even a whole day. Also, I know you miss your girlfriend, but look at it as that you are taking it all in for the both of you - as she can’t be there - take as much as it in, so you can have her close her eyes, and paint a full picture of it once you are home and have her in your arms again.
I’ll leave you with one of my favorite quotes, about happiness, and maybe you can also find some inspiration in it (as I do on some of my harder days)
“I feel like people get lost when they think of happiness as a destination. We’re always thinking that someday we’ll be happy, and we’ll get that car, or that job, or that person in our lives that will fix everything. But happiness is a mood, and it’s a condition not a destination. It’s like being tired or hungry, it’s not permanent. It comes and goes and that’s okay. And I feel like if people thought of it that way, they’d find happiness a lot more often.”
this might be a bit weird but since you wear a lot of jcrew have you ever tried out crew cuts? and if you have how is the fit? thanks man
I have tried crew cuts, however to get a size that would fit in the shoulders/chest I have to get XL which then is also XL in the abdominal area so while it fits right in one area, it’s larger in another. Honestly, I stick with XS slim fit for J. Crew’s Men Shop, and if it’s a bit too big, you can just throw it in the washer and dryer a few times and it should shrink up nicely to the right size (I actually got this tip from a shorter employee at J. Crew). So, with most stuff fitting well, and some just needing to be shrunk a bit - I tend to stick with the men’s stuff over crew cuts.
You're one of the most handsome guys I've ever seen. I think I have a crush on you, dammit. I'm also a trans guy and you inspire me a lot, besides helping me when I need (I've already send you some questions). Thank you very much for sharing your experience. All the best, Cael! Hugs from Brazil.
Well, thank you! That is quite the compliment my friend, I sincerely appreciate it. And of course, I will continue to answer questions, share my experience, and help folks in any way I can - and I am very glad that it has been some help too you! That means quite a lot to me!
Hope you are well, and all the best to you as well, my friend!
good places for sweaters that are short in length? also how does abercrombie work out for you (you wear a lot of american eagle so i was just wondering) thanks man
I had really, really good luck at American Eagle this past winter. I don’t think I’m going to have to buy another sweater for quite some time. However, I have also had really good luck in the past with the Cotton V-neck Sweater from GAP - so when I’m looking for a good solid v-neck sweater I tend to go to the GAP, and if I’m looking for something with more of a collar or button down, I tend to go to American Eagle.
As far as Abercrombie & Fitch, I can’t shop there - there clothes are too big (and IMO, way overpriced for what you get - you should just go to J. Crew), and also not a huge fan of the ginormous emblem that could reach out and punch you in the face, but that’s just me. When I was pre-T, I could fit wonderfully into Abercrombie (kids) and they were my go-to for jackets and button down shirts. But, I haven’t stopped by either probably since high school, so I can’t really speak to their sizing or styles now.
Hello I wanted to know if you could possibly help me get on the road to starting the ftm process please.
Hey there, unfortunately not knowing your history or where you are on your journey right now makes it a bit difficult. I would say the first thing one should do, is find a therapist in your area who specializes or is at least aware of gender issues / transitioning. T-Vox have a great list of therapists by region, and state that you can check out here.
Then I would also look into finding a support group in your area for others who are going through the same thing as you. It’s a great way to get resources, and learn more about how other people have gone through their transition in your area. T-Vox also has a list of support groups here.
Sorry I can’t be of more help - but I would definitely start there, and then I think you will begin to find other resources, branch out, and get started on your journey. Hope that helps some!