Can you give some advice on how you navigated the name change process in your professional academic career? I'm currently a junior in undergrad with a few poster publishings under my belt and I'm worried I will not still be credited with my publishings after changing my name. Also it is unlikely that I will be able to finalize the name change before graduating undergrad. Is there a way to ensure my degree will reflect my new name? Any advice would be greatly appreciated!
Hmm. Unfortunately, I can’t speak from personal experiences on this one - especially in the publishing world (opening this up to any followers who might have answers; please reblog and post your experiences or advice).
However, as far as graduating from undergrad and getting your degree to reflect your new name - I would check with the Dean of your college, or whomever is in charge of graduation requirements, etc (advisor, etc). When I was in college if I didn’t have my name legally changed in time (which I ended up having done in time so it wasn’t an issue), they couldn’t put my name on my diploma - however, once I received legal paperwork I could send a copy of it to the college (like you have to do everywhere else) and they would send me a new diploma with my name change reflected on it, and would all also change it in all of their alumni, and school records, etc. I would believe this would be an option at most colleges, so I would definitely inquire about that.
Sorry I couldn’t be of more help! Hopefully that gives you a few starter steps, and thanks for reaching out with your question.
Hi Cael! Would you come out and transition while working for a big company, meaning you would have to come out to a lot, really a lot, of people you don't even know well (for example, you would have to ask the IT department to change your email address) - or would you quit and look for a different job once you are passing?
Hey! It would depend on the job and how receptive people were to it. There are pros and cons to a larger company. One good thing about a larger company (if HR is on your side) is that they do most of the heavy lifting - reaching out to your IT department for example, and talking to co-working and management. I would start with HR and see how receptive they are, and see what they can do. If it seems like the response you get from that company isn’t a great one (especially on an HR level) I, personally, would probably start looking for a new job. I’ve answered a lot of questions on my thoughts on transitioning in the workplace and provided links that can help, etc, that you can find them here.
Sorry I’ve been a bit absent, the last couple weeks have been insane and I know I have questions in my inbox - I just want to make sure I have the time to think them through and give you the best answers/advice possible!
But today is my birthday, and as usual it’s a day of reflection and appreciation for how far I’ve come in my life, and the last year - and of course do a bit of celebrating! So, happy birthday to me!
“He ruined me too, that is what your forget. Centuries later, each of us is broken. You with your anger and paranoia. Me with my fear of abandonment. And poor Elijah. He dedicates himself to everyone but himself. We are the strongest creatures in the world and yet we are damaged beyond repair. We live without hope, but we will never die. We are the definition of “cursed,” always and forever.”—Rebekah Mikaelson
I just told my mom that I was trans. She responded like it was going to be a giant burden on her and said that I was not trans and that I am not making the right choice for myself. I feel so confused. I'm second quessing everything even though I was so sure of myself before I told her. I wanted to start transitioning.(cut hair ,change clothing, get counselling). But I feel so unsure now. Any advice would help.
If you’re feeling unsure, spend more time thinking about it - seek out a therapist who specializes in gender identity. One of the great thing about transitioning is it’s your transition - nobody can tell you when to do it, how to do it, or anything like that. Your journey is your journey, so if you are feeling unsure just take the steps you are comfortable with. Start by seeking out a therapist, that is the best way in my opinion to talk through any hesitations, insecurities, or uncertainties that come up along the way.
As far as your Mom - all do respect to her, she isn’t you, she doesn’t know how you feel inside in regards to who you are. Her response could be one of denial, shock, or any number of emotions that parents go through when their children come out as trans. Hell, my father blamed the internet - it was all the internet’s fault. I went through a lot with my parents until they finally found acceptance with it. You can read more about my detailed experience with family through the links on my FAQ Page. Though this was her initial response, it doesn’t mean it is her final response. She could very much just be in shock or denial (like most parents tend to be when their children first come out) so remember her reaction can change. Leave the dialogue open, give her some time - while it is a huge transition for us, it’s also a huge transition for our families and loved ones. So, my best advice would be to just give her time, and keep the dialogue open.
“Don’t hang out with people who don’t love you. Don’t try to impress people who aren’t worth it. Don’t try to win people over who aren’t worth it. Focus on yourself, and focus on the people who are really awesome and who love you. Don’t hang out with people who make you feel like shit. Don’t spend your energy on them. There is so much pressure to be part of the right thing: well, you should create the right thing. If you don’t see it, create it. If you don’t see what you want, be the change you want to see.”—Beth Ditto (via floranymph)